My counter-list to Fancy's "Things I Love..."
1. Waking up thinking it's Saturday when it's Friday (like today). What - you mean I have to go to work? FIVE DAYS IN A ROW?! God, so annoying.
[2. MAYO. Those who insist on putting mayo on my sandwich when I specifically asked for NO MAYO. People, why must you hurt me so?]
3. THONGS. I realize that they are a necessary evil for form fitting or white clothes, but I can always tell when it's laundry time because all that's left are the thongs. When I do wear 'em, I always end up just trying to de-wedge myself (when no one is looking of course), which is kinda counterintuituve of the sexy appeal that they're going for. I mean, unless picking your bum is now sexy, then, hey, sign me up. But God, I love me my Gap Body bikini underoos.
4. People who walk really slow on sidewalks in pairs or threes. The hell? The universe does not revolve around you, okay? Move it along, folks.
5. Hairy legs. I cannot stand the feel of hair on my legs. Don't get me wrong, in the winter , from time to time I've been known to phone it in, but come spring/summer my shaving takes on OCD proportions.
Edit: I am taking the Mayo off the list because I thought of something even more hateful. Besides, I gotten pretty good at scraping it off so it's more of an annoyance and inconvenience than anything else...
2.Strangers who pass you on the street and TELL YOU TO "SMILE". Okay, maybe I have a dumb look on my face or maybe I am in deep thought about something or just maybe I had a bad day... so yeah, it's possible a smile would improve the landscape of my face considerably...but last I checked THIS IS AMERICA and if I don't feel like walking around town with a dumb smile on my face, then I dont have to. Am I wrong here, people??? So, I might offer something that weakly resembles a dumb smile but you should know, complete strangers, that in my mind I am punching you in the head.