I am writing this at two in the morning, as when you go to take "a nap" at 8 o'clock on a Friday night and waken 4 hours later, heh, what do you know? You're wide awake. As I am sit here listening to Mike's "gentle snores" from the other room and I think to myself, "I wonder if he'd get pissed if I started vacuuming?"
Like any 2 people in a romantical, co-habbing relationship, for the sake of our respective sanities and by proxy, the relationship itself, Mike and I have had to make certain compromises or allowances with/for each other. From the mundane "were you GOING to replace the toilet paper roll sometime this year or WERE YOU JUST WAITING FOR AN ENGRAVED INVITATION?" to the bigger ticket items like, "We're trying to save money.....right, Jen?" - and I think we navigate through the issues pretty well.
But sometimes, money talks, and "compromise" looks a little more like "negotiations".
What I should have really called this was, "What a guy will do to watch the games with guaranteed un-interruption."
First, I would like to say Mike loves sports, loves watching them but it's not ESPN 24/7 around here. Not only would I lose my mind, but I think he would too. So when he wants to see something, really see something, I guess you could say there's usually some kind of "sports significance".
Over the past few years, I have learned that it is important to him not to "bug him" when he is watching these really big deal events (i.e The Masters, which c'mon, hours and hours of golf? yawn.) I figured out that he really didn't want someone buggin him when he offered me money to scram.
Money? MONEY, you say?
Yeah, it's all about the Benjamins over here.
"How much is it gonna cost me if you promise to leave me alone so I can watch this in peace and quiet? If I give you twenty bucks, will that work? You can go to Target."
Mind you, for me that wouldn't even make a DENT at Target, but I appreciated the sentiment on this particular rainy Sunday all the same.
So I did what I thought was right. I took the dough.
I mean, "technically" I do have my own money and I "suppose" I could find some other way of amusing myself and furthermore, I could (and do) respect the fact that he's entitled to watch "his shows" just as much as I am. Sure. And not to give you the impression that it's one big shakedown over here every time the man wants to watch something I don't. This has happened exactly all of twice since we've been together. And the last time I was "paid off", I was given $40 but instructed I had to pick up the Lost in Translation DVD so as I told him, "all I really netted was twenty."
Thursday night we went out to dinner at our favorite, PF Changs. Over drinks Mike had asked me if I thought we had anything going on this weekend. I said I didn't think so and he suggested that if that held true, maybe we could do something fun like go to Newburyport (MA) for the day. When you're a pair of "DINKs" (Double Income, No Kids) this is the stuff you do at the drop of a hat. Anyway, not only was I feeling good about the idea itself, but also was impressed that he had thought to think of something for just the 2 of us to do. I was, you could say, touched.
However, not a minute later I heard, "oooooooh," with an expression that read, "uh oh, I just fucked up."
Of course, this begged the question, "...What?"
"All the championship (college football) games are on Saturday."
"Yeah, all day starting at 3:00 til 10:00."
Me, sensing an opportunity, "Well, how much is it worth to ya?"
"Fifty? How about seventy-five?"
"How about fifty."
"How about seventy-five?"
[later, after dinner]
"C'mon, a full day in Newburyport? Dinner? You're getting a discount here."
"Sixty-five plus travel expenses. I think my car is on "E". You're talking prime time here. And 7 hours."
"Or fifty plus what I paid in for dinner and the cab tonight."
"Oh. right.... Uh, sixty?"
[the next night]
My voice starting to take on a maddening pitch, "How about a hundred and I can make myself gone for 48 hours? Or, or, one-fifty and you just bought yourself a 3-day weekend!"
Later I sang to him "If I Had a Million Dollars" but using my own lyrics and replacing "million dollars" with "fifty bucks". Wish I could remember all of what I sang - I was on a pretty good tear. Where's a tape recorder when you need one, huh?
Anyway, I'm fifty bucks richer and don't tell Mike... but I would have taken forty.