I have a favor to ask of you (I know, "naturally", I know). Please, I need you to make me a star so that I can become a contestant on only the greatest show on earth, Dancing with the Stars! Please, G? See, I don't think my current gig analyzing loss trends and profit ratios and reading risk assessments is gonna get it done. I don't even need to be a big one; C-lister will do. Fine with me. And I know I'm not "exotic" or "hot" like the women who appear on this show are, but I think I would bring a certain element of pluck or moxie to the table that would keep it interesting-- dare I say, "keep America watching". Why, just the other day I overheard, "that girl, she's got pluck and moxie." I think. Maybe it was, "that girl, she got a duck and doxie." It was really noisy in the bar that night.
And I know You know I would try my hardest. Lordy, I've been dancing since I was a little girl. You know I wouldn't phone it in like that guy Master P did. (
Hell, heck, who are we kidding, I could phone it in and still be better'n that guy. "Oh, I'm not a dancer, I'm just 'keepin it real' for my peeps in the hood and for the people of Hurricane Katrina, which is why I'm wearing sneakers instead of dance shoes in a dance competition." Shameless, shameless pandering like that. I know You made him and all, but seriously, what a dick. I'm just sayin'.)
Sorry, anyway, um, where was I? Oh, and the outfits. Yeah, we're a long ways away from the Lawrence Welk days aren't we, eh? I really, really, really want to wear one of those costumes. And again, don't think I can swing that in my current situation. I doubt my new employer would really go for it, even if we do have business casual 5 days a week.
So, see what you can do. Rumor has it You're the guy who can "make things happen" (ha-ha-ha). Oh, speaking of, nice work this week. Much appreciate it. I especially enjoyed our little roadside chat after, you know the one where I pointed out the irony that had I bit it, I would have at the same age as Your Boy and you zinged back with, "yeah, but you're no Jesus." Ha! Good one. I know, but who is right? (man, we could do this all night)
Have a good night.
Your friend (and #1 fan!),