*alt. titled "Well, ex-cuuuuuuse me for livin'"**
Ok, I didn't mean to be away this long from writing a new entry. Thank God that last one got legs, huh?
So, what I would have written about was how my brother was in town a few weeks ago. Well, his flight got in before I got out of work so I left him the keys to my place in the secret hiding spot (the mailbox, should be be inclined to do a B&E) and asked that he give me a call when he got in and to make himself at home.
Finishing out my last few hours work, I knew he wasn't doing anything. He knew I knew he wasn't doing anything. And so I decided to hassle him a little as my way of saying "Welcome to Boston!" in the most loving, big sisterly way I could muster.
Me: feel free to run a vacuum or do some dusting.
(God, I'm awesome.)
He a few minutes later: I really just got done doing that no kidding and I took your trash out
Okay, now I just feel like an asshole. BUT I WAS KIDDING! HA HA, KIDDING! And since when does this kid know what a vacuum looks like?
I respond: What did you just do? I was joking.
I couldn't tell if he was messing with me back or what, but as it turned out he did in fact run the vacuum-- not at my request, but because he said he'd got some sandwich crumbs on the carpet. As far as the trash thing, I really can't speak to that. It's like I don't know who this kid is anymore.
Once I got home and I got over the shock that I have a brother who not only knows where the vacuum is and but also how to use it....without being asked, we started chatting on what's going on in our lives. Currently, his marriage is suffering in big way and it looks as though a separation if not divorce is um, shall we say, imminent. I mean, I think if your wife has a profile on Match.com and leaving up horrible e-mails from guys saying gross things for him to see (the guys version of the post below), the handwriting is pretty much on the wall at that point. But hey, that's just me. Though I'll hand it to him, he seems to be coping okay and maintaining some perspective and humor in all this:
He snickered to me,
"Hey, wanna see M's profile on Match.com?"
I thought to myself, "Sweet and uh, yes, please!".
Though, never one to be out done, I volleyed back,
"Ya wanna see MOM'S?"
Truly one of our finer Hallmark moments, I do believe.
Later, I played him my "demo" of "Holy Moly" and lip-synched along to my own song. Bri looked over to Mike, "yeah, she's finally lost it."
"Oh yeah? well, I may have 'lost it', but at least my wife's profile isn't on Match.com."
Man, I've missed this kid.
*Steve Martin's charachter from "The Jerk"
**remember when this was used as a "comeback"? Or was that just me?