Anyone in who has worked in a financial or insurance industry knows exactly why when I say today is going to suck hard an tomorrow is not going to be much better.
Today is the last day before our annual audit.
Today is the day you go through all your files. Today, these last 24 hours before the auditors come in, is the day you are essentially throwing the Hail Mary pass at these files, making the sign of the cross, and then praying you still get to keep your job by the time Thursday, when the grades are handed out, rolls around.
Not that anyone likes being audited, but man, I really hate this part of the job. I really, really do.
Oh yeah, wanna know what else? Today I found out that I am out of underwear. I mean, other than the 2 which are never worn because they are more, um..., well, more fashion than function. Man, these are not very practical (seriously, what the hell was I even thinking)? And really, it's either this or a bathing suit bottom...soooo, okay then.
In an effort to turn this frown upside down, I am posting a few things that actually make me laugh:
The thing about Owen is that he adores his big sister. He wants, very much, to do all the things she does. Sarah wears princess dresses. Guess who else does, too? Anyway, as a few months ago, Sarah got prescription glasses (right, her "contact lenses"). Now guess who wears her pink, Elton John-inspired sunglasses as his regular glasses?
Seen here at breakfast:
Hold me closer, tiny dancer.
2. Jim Gaffigan
I first saw Jim in NYC in the mid-90s and remember dying laughing when I saw him. This past July, I saw that he was performing near Boston and took Mike to see him because I knew it'd be up his alley. He ended up liking his act better than Kathy Griffin (which was his birthday gift). If you don't get a chance to see him perform, I highly recommend his latest CD, Beyond the Pale.
Here we are doing the prom pose (his idea, which did he have some psychic powers that prom pose is one of my favorite poses ever?) I, of course, am to giddy to get it together to really work prom pose (thus this big, stupid grin) because I love him.
I mean, anyone who can dedicate 15 minutes of his act to bacon gets my undying affection. To wit (and loosely quoted from my memory):
Bacon: so awesome it sounds like applause when it's cooking.
You know, without bacon, we'd never know about certain other foods. "wanna water chestnut?" Nah.
"How about if I wrap it in some bacon?" Oh, well, I wouldn't want to be rude.
I think some foods owe bacon a thank you putting them on the map.
"Dear Bacon, Thank you for being so awesome. Sincerely, Water Chestnut III"
Though not relating to bacon, this was also good:
"I love the inpatience of New York... You ever had somebody not-ask you for directions, but demand them? You're just innocently walking down the street, you hear a horn, all of a sudden some guy's like, 'HOLLAND TUNNEL!!!' ...You know like you were supposed to fax this guy directions. Suddenly, you're wasting HIS time. 'Let's go buddy! Holland tunnel!' '...Uh..I-I was just going to the store... I didn't realize it was my shift. Well, let's see... the Holland Tunnel is in my ass... alright?"”
As of this weekend, I have offically equipped all 3 of my nieces and nephew with the phrase "BOO-YAH". Libs being the last of the 3 munchkins and, according to Lib's mom, she won't STOP saying it. Perfection.
And as you can see, she is tickled too.