I did this:
And some of you were like:
Wtf?
So you mean you aren't a lesbian? But you play soccer. Huh.
Sure you're not pregnant or something?
How did this not turn into a wedding blog?
Did Mike lose a bet? He lost a bet, didn't he.
Well, I didn't respond then, but I can now: OMFG!!!1!, No, No- I think you're confusing that with basketball (not that there's anything wrong with playing basketball...or being a lesbian), Beats me, No, he didn't lose a bet, he WON me in a bet, thanks.
Anyway, wow, a whole year of wedded bliss. So something to write about and now you nice people can GET OFF MY ASS ALREADY.
(oh yeah, didn't I ask for suggestions some time back? heh. this is awkward.)
Recent conversations between us that have amused me...
Convo 1: After him expressing that this is the first year he really didn't know who he was going to vote for (he usually votes one way), I offered that there's always the write-in.
Me: "well, there's always that fella - whats-hisface - Ron Paul . He's got a following, right?"
Him: "Hey, if I'm gonna do the write-in, I'm gonna do the write-in..."
Me: Meaning you're gonna swing for the fences? Like, "The Fat Guy from P.M. Dawn"?
Him: Yeahhh.
Convo 2:
Me: [interrupting him watching Bears/Falcons game] seriously, I need to you drag me away from the TV right now. I'm watching (on Lifetime) Confessions of a Go Go Girl. I'm not even kidding. And I'm getting sucked in. Help. Meeee. (using trademarked Owen lisp) Pwwease, Mike, PWEEEASE.
Him: Oh, I believe you. Y'know, you could always just change the channel.
Me: Uh, I KNOW THAT, but how do you think I ended up watching the entire True Confessions of a Hollywood Starlet [featuring Joanna "Jojo" Levesque]that was on right before it. I thought I could walk away from that one, but I couldn't. I have been Lifetime free for 3 years....totally blown in one night.
(I ended up catching the end, by the way - and by God, was it as bad as you would think it would be. Couldn't spot that acting class monolgue GoGo Girl ends up giving at the end a mile away.)
Convo 3 (this morning):
Me, my back slightly disabled from yesterday's soccer game, and displying some difficulty putting on clothing south of my belly button:
Him: What the hell is wrong with you?
Me: Uh, yeah, today's really off to a banner start. I had trouble putting on my underpants. Not faring much better with these either.
Him: [grabs top of pants, yanks upward]
Me: Hey buddy- ya wanna take it easy? I have a crotch.
So there you go...a post. On my anniverary. Ending with the word Crotch.
You are most welcome.
My God, what a dashing couple. Happy anniversary you guys. I didn't get you anything.
Posted by: Tim | October 13, 2008 at 03:03 PM
Oh Shoot! I was thinking November, for some reason! Happy, Happy Anniversary! Celebrate!!!!
Posted by: Teri | October 13, 2008 at 08:20 PM
Hey Mike & Jen, CONGRATS on your 1 year anniversary! Enjoy :)
Posted by: Suz | October 14, 2008 at 09:19 AM
Happy Anniversary! Sounds like you guys are having fun...not that I expected any different from you.
Posted by: HollowSquirrel | October 15, 2008 at 09:53 AM
Hooray! You made it! (Not that I thought you wouldn't)
It's all uphill from here.
Posted by: Meg | October 15, 2008 at 03:53 PM
Ladies and gentlemen, my wife - the voice of optimism.
Posted by: Tim | October 16, 2008 at 07:34 AM
It's ham, ma'am.
Posted by: jen from boston | October 16, 2008 at 11:09 AM
Congratulations Jen, wow a whole year..
It seems like like only a few years ago I was a friends wedding, it was 10 years ago in August and it was an unusually warm August that year as well...
Woman + football doesn't mean "gay" just means they can play..
Posted by: Gordon | October 16, 2008 at 06:01 PM
Happy Anniversary! You've almost inspired me to post. Almost.
Posted by: marnie | October 17, 2008 at 09:21 PM
Happy Anniversary. Also, the fact that I even know who the hell Joanna "Jojo" Levesque is? Yeah, that makes me so sad.
Posted by: Fraulein N | October 18, 2008 at 04:53 PM
Thank you, guys. Also Fraulein, I also know she's from Massachusetts and dated Freddy Adu.
Why do I know this???
Posted by: jen from boston | October 19, 2008 at 10:18 AM
Happy Anniversary -- a week late. I nearly forgot we have the same anniversary weekend, except we're old hats at this marriage thing, and you all are still newlyweds.
Posted by: Nancy | October 20, 2008 at 04:23 PM
She LIVES!
Happy Anniversary.
Posted by: Ceece | October 20, 2008 at 11:08 PM
Oh, I step away from the blogosphere for a minute and you get MARRIED?
Happy Anniversary!!!
(I'll have to check your archives for your wedding post now. There is one, right?)
Posted by: sweatpantsmom | November 08, 2008 at 05:41 PM
Congratulations! One year of happiness with so much going on in it! You guys make a great couple.
Posted by: apathy lounge | November 14, 2008 at 11:54 AM
Ahem.
Posted by: Tim | December 02, 2008 at 10:11 AM
Okay so I'm a complete stranger and somehow found your blog by Googling "mr. potato head image". (I needed images for a PowerPoint thing my Dad is doing for mental health legislation...jeez, never mind.) But anyway, YOU SO FUNNY GIRL! I didn't even mean to read anything. I mean obviously its a free web and all but it did feel a little like eavesdropping. Your conversational writing style sucked me in, totally. So I hope you're using this talent for a living (ha, me the struggling artist said that) cause otherwise, the rest of the world is really missing out. Enjoy the upcoming kid but make sure to keep updating your blog. When you become parent, will say that "you have to remember to take time for yourself" but more importantly, a slightly wacked sense of humor will really help you keep your sanity. Good luck! e
Posted by: Erin | February 26, 2009 at 02:44 PM