It's been a week of "not much" so the writing gods haven't exactly been on my side, thus the whole lot of nothing to write about here(I mean, other than I'm getting soft in the middle).
(See, I'm even boring THIS one. I mean, kid can't even READ but he's pretending to so he won't have to talk to me. Nicely, played, O.)
Anyway, um, lists seem to be en vogue these days, so I'll try one of those.
Apropos of nada:
1. I have laid off the celeb rants for quite some time now; too "shooting fish in a barrel" for my taste and let's be honest, where to even begin what with the antics of LiLo, Paris, Nicole, and company but let's for a sec talk about Brit-Brit.
In her latest missive to her fans regarding the X-17 letter(pap photog agency), she "cheekily" "apologizes" for the smashing an umbrella on their vehicle-incident. Brit, I know you were just "kidding", or using you were studying for a "roll" (not the kind found at KFC) was a met-uh-4 for what was going on in your life then, however and F-to the-Y-I, you're not funny, barely literate and your grasp of sarcasm, not so good. And as such every attempt at public speaking or putting pen to paper, what you're really doing is showing off to the public your barely passable 4th grade education level. So, enough. Stop. Parent. Work. Put some clothes on. maybe learn the difference between "roll" and "role" (updated: her site's handlers appear to have now caught and corrected the words/spelling). Something. But enough of the attention whoring bullshit. Please.
2. Also not funny: Sarah Silverman at the MTV Awards going off on Paris the way she did (I won't even bother to quote it, it's just disgusting and unfunny and quite frankly, really fucking mean.) And oh yeah, a really, really shitty thing to do. Listen, it's not like I even like Paris. At all. But there's taking a shot at someone in a tough spot (S.S. could have said something about her going from couture to orange jumpsuits etc.), and then there is kicking a person, below the belt, when they're already down. And having it broadcasted for everyone to see and laugh at. Live.
That's not clever; that's being a bully as far as I can tell.
3. The ads for Botox Cosmetics and the tagline "Freedom of Expression". Ummmm, anyone else think this rates right up there with Lame Irony/Bad Copy Champion Always "Have a happy period" campaign? Don't they mean the freedom to LACK expression? 'Cause it's the expressions in faces that cause a lot of those wrinkles, ad copy people, and the product is prohibiting the movement to make said expressions. Unless I am missing something. And if I am, someone help me out here, for I is confused.
4. Sheryl Crow coming down American Idol because it "promotes commercialism" in the music industry. Okay sure, fine, maybe I can see that, but uh, hey Sheryl? How's that Revlon hair color spot which features you AND your song (going on great hair) I see on the tube paying these days? Pretty good?
5. Wednesday days off: Um, yeah, not feeling it. Not feeling the feeling of having 2 Mondays, a weak ass "weekend", not even getting out early on Tuesday (was I the only one?) being totally messed up what day it is (I saw that The Office was on last night, and I was all, 'but wait, but it's only Wednesday, right?"). I guess the flipside/half-full card is, "Huzzah - TWO FRIDAYS!"
Libs also shares my enthusiasm:
6. I have begun the process of looking at houses. As a result, my dreams of George Clooney or the McDreamy du jour are now replaced by walk-in closets and a bathroom complete with electrical outlets/a place to house towels and a yard for some plants. My US Weeklys and In Touches have been replaced with Real Simple and about a half dozen interior decorating/design mags. Seriously, this week I have dreamed of the same house twice in a row, which I think basically means it's totally mine. Which roughly translates:
PAR-TAY AT JEN'S HOUSE!
7. Funny text from Jess:
"you look like babe's ruth's gay brother...gaybe ruth."
Okay, if you haven't seen Knocked Up (reviewed on her site) or the previews to the hilarious looking Superbad (same director, similar casting, seen prior to Knocked Up) please do yourself the favor and do.
I was too lazy to text Jess back, but had I not, this was in queue:
"are you one of those girls who don't know they're pregnant until they're sitting on a toilet and a baby pops out?"
8. I am going to meet Mrs. HolllowSquirrel in just over a week. She will be in my town for biz, and do you know that her coworkers, who are NOT from Boston, who live far, far away from Boston, ...okay, ...want to know where they want to dine...intentionally?
Red. Fucking. Lobster.
Totally not making this up (and when she first told me, I really thought she was kidding.)
People, I don't even like/eat seafood of any kind and even I am appalled on her behalf. Only eleven billionity great places for seafood in this city and RED.FUCKING.LOBSTER??? And the truth is? You kind of have to go out of your way to get there. It's practically in SOUTH Boston. Imbeciles.
Anyway, I am going to be her "old college roommate" to help her get out of at least one night of hanging out with them. So I am working on my best "Delta, Delta, Delta/ Can I help ya, help ya,help ya?"s to get into character.
9. My cousin's new blog tagline which I am giving 5 (out of 5) stars:
All My Children. It's just something I know.
Well, that's all I got. Have a swell weekend, everyone.