Once More with Feeling.

My least favorite form of puncuation.

There's a saying out there something to the effect of "the fastest way to get your period it to go out and buy yourself a pregnancy test (retailing for approx $13.99, er, not that I would know personally mind you) and you will get it the next day."

I have found a quicker, cheaper*, and one less trip to the drugstore alternative for you ladies.

Step One: Wear new off-white pants. As in "price tag is still on them the morning you decide to don same" new.

Step Two: Bow down to societal rules of light pants/undergarments and wear the teeniest, flimsiest pair of knickers based on your decision of wearing light colored pants because heaven forbid people should see an outline of your underwear. I mean, so you like underwear that covers your butt! Excuse me!

Step Three: Get on bus headed for work.  Feel a little out of sorts. Blame time change and fact that it is morning, not your best time of day and you haven't had coffee. And it's Monday.

Step Three A: Get off bus and feel the infamous "The Twinge". Run complex math calculations during walk from bus stop to work of how long I have until "The Embarrassment" sets in. Literally.

Step Four: Get to work, find ladies' room and realize as you thought but thankfully no damage is done to brand new pants. Curse that there are no Advil Liguidgels at desk but at least you have vision/foresight to bring backup supplies for such an event.

So there you have it. It's no EPT but it gets results.

*And I take back the "cheapest" qualifier. Had there been an accident, I did not take into account any potential dry cleaning damages. Yeah, now that would have been an awkward conversation.

Oh, and FYI - I recommend ThermaCare Heatwraps (which I am using right now). Much more convenient than a heating pad and feels very nice. My Dad also uses them for his back.

Updated to add: Almost 12 hours later and there is still heat kicking from this wrap!

Pimp that product and then some!

These three ladies bring "Pimp That Product" to a whole 'nother level. This site is awesome (and aptly named "Oh my, that's awesome!") which gives such a variety of cool shit, you'll just have to check it out for yourself.  Gadgets, fashion, music, skincare, stuff for your house/apt....it's all there. Need a cool gift idea for a friend who's impossible to buy for? Go here.  Looking for something outside of the Target realm (tho they could pimp The Target)? Also here. Creative, funky, clever, quirky, funny, pretty and just supah cool.

(They even one better it with coupons on some items and have a Sale sidebar.  BRILLIANT!)

Speaking of sidebars, I'm linking it under "Rehab is for Quitters".

Attention Winos

For those of you local to Boston, The Globe has started a new feature today called "Plonk of the Month". This feature is to find good wines cheap. Which knowing some of my friends, this should be a Godsend.

"The word plonk began as British slang for the cheapest drink served." Now we refer to the $10 and under set as "inexpensive".

Today's "plonk" is new wave Spanish reds (Antano Rioja 2004, Castano Yecla Monasrell 2003 to name a few). 

If this is something up your alley, you can check today's Globe (Food section) or go to this link where they will keep at least 2 months worth of lists at a time.

Good King wants his applesauce, la da da da dee dum

Post #201, kids.

Happy New Year!

So, I haven't Pimped That Product since the "controversial" Coffeemate Peppermint Mocha debate of '05. By the way, the Google traffic from that one alone, I tell ya.  Amazing. People must really want to know about this stuff. So glad I can help in these hard times.

Anyway, same pimp, new product for you:

CO Bigelow's Mentha Lip Shine:

I found this stuff at Bath & Body Works, which these days resembles a smaller scale Sephora. This lip stuff multitasks.  And I love it.  First, it makes your lips nice and glossy with a tingly, cooling sensation, which is quite lovely. Not at all burny-like like Sephora's Lip Venom (which is a lip plumper anyway). Second, it acts as a breath freshener! And it works! The product contains 1% peppermint oil, so when you lick you lips-- tada! No more stanky coffee breath.  I have introduced this stuff to BOTH my sisters (my independent market testers) and both have bought it with their own dollars. So, there you go. Stuff rulz. 

In other thoughts, for my next life I am really, really, really considering coming back as a Starbucks barista. Damn, they are a happy lot.  Then again, they are bringing a little bit of joy to each person they serve.  Speaking of which, I just tried the Cinnamon Dolce Latte today (oh, which I paid for only to THEN locate my gift card) and this stuff rules the school even harder than the Peppermint Mocha. Truly.  Got a caramelized sugar flavor with the kicky cinnamon.  If that sounds like something you could get on board with, I would say you will not be disappointed.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I heard this voice-mail message from my buddy Scott in Dallas (hi, Scott!) sometime after midnight on New Years which I thought was pretty funny:

My  name is Scott Van...and uh, I like to party.  I'm about five-eight, nine. I'm about uh, blond hair...blondish-brown hair, blue eyes.  Uh, my arms are about 35 inches long. Uh, ...I like to party. Give me a call. Bye.

Today on "Pimp that Product"...Coffeemate Peppermint Mocha.

I have added a new category to showcase stuff I love, new or old, and think you should know about too.

Today on "Pimp that Product", it's Coffee-Mate's Peppermint Mocha Half & Half. Oh My GOD, is this stuff delish.  Lately, I have been drinking Starbucks Peppermint Mochas which, while wicked awesome, are like all Starbucks products in terms of a price point: just shy of a South Boston condo that's been re-mortgaged 3 times (inside joke). 

I got the call from one of my sisters telling me about this stuff and tried it this weekend.  Tastes EXACTLY the same as a Starbucks made version.  And for about $2.50 a bottle to make a "bunch of cups*" of  coffee at home (convenience!), it's also quite a bargain (I am cheap!).

My sister Emily has also suggested pouring it in your hot chocolate and adding whipped cream.  That, quite frankly, sounds divine - especially given how cold it got today.

They got a bunch of other holiday/seasonal flavors, which I am sure are also great but this creature of habit will be sticking with the Peppermint Mocha for the winter. Also, Egg Nog = there's eggs in it, which, ...yuck.

*results based upon personal, double blind,  scientific study.  Bunch of cups = many.