You may think you're leaving on a jet plane for Cali (Raf) & D.C. (Trish) but I'm sending you guys on an all expenses paid guilt trip. (note: you could be here -->)
Featured at top, your going away party (from left: Heather, Steve, Susan, me, Rox, Scott). See how nice it looks? Pretty, pretty party. But look closer. Scott's fists are pretty red & swollen. Prior to this picture, he was found banging his fists into the table screaming "Damn them! Damn them!" Rox spent half the evening calming him down with a lot of "there, there"s and soothing his pain with margaritas on the rocks. Thank GOD for margaritas on the rocks. We may have been asked to leave otherwise.
Steve, on the other hand, looks as though he might to cry at any moment. Note the quivering bottom lip and watery eyes. He's definitely doing his best to maintain for the picture. When he heard the news that you weren't coming, it was as though he'd been told by his parents that they were splitting, my announcement akin to, "it's not that your father and I don't love you anymore, it's just that we can't stand each other." Later, because I am mean, I whispered, "okay, actually it's because you don't clean your room. Live with that, chump." So Heather had to pour much Miller lite down his gullet and tell him how nice he looked in his orange t-shirt, thus mastering the art of distraction.
Susan, the surprise guest of the evening ala "This is Your Life" (and no, it was NOT a coincidence we happened to find her dining with other people) - her look reads, "I waited 5 minutes in line by myself to get to the roofdeck, and walked a flight of stairs ...for this??" I hear ya, sister.
And lastly, me...where do I even begin?
Well, for starters I am wearing a super cute Banana Republic outfit YOU'LL never see. I am wearing what appears to be both makeup AND jewelry. And the hair? Looks like it's been combed, styled and has some kind of styling goop in it. STYLING GOOP, PEOPLE! It's like I'm Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed all dressed up for prom and my date comes by only to egg me & my house. That is just SO SAD. So naturally I did what any girl would do when stood up - I sought solace in the queso fondito appetizer. Cheese makes everything better.
Alright, you two. I kid. Of course I had to write something given the irony of it all. I wish you guys the best in your new cities and of course, if I should ever find myself there, anticipate I got a free place to stay.
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