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June 03, 2005



My self tanning story stemmed from I had to go BACK to the doctor that when I had last seen her we had yet ANOTHER embarassing story. First pregnancy visit (yes it's public knowlege now)sweet devoted husband joins me during this visit. It's his first time in an OB/GYN so he is really taken aback by all the pictures and diagrams etc...he dosen't know where to look. But sitting in the doctor's office she turns to me and says "now Emily we're going to go into the room and do a quick exam to see how far along you are...feel around a little". My husband who is sweet and thinking my poor wife has been here for over an hour already what more could you do to her is there any way we can check something off of this list of things to do responds "don't worry she had me to do that last night..." I don't think my face could have gotten any redder or his face could have looked anymore like he was saying "wha?? what did i do wrong???? i'm helping!" I had to turn to the woman and clearly explain to her that i did NOT ask my husband to give me an "internal exam" last night to help determine how far along I was but merely asked him to LOOK at the outside of my stomach and tell me if it looked different (which was a loaded request anyway). I had to quickly turn to him and say "it's REALLY NOT the same thing kris, REALLY NOT the same thing at ALL". Needless to say he is in the room during the fun exam where they say the line "you'll feel some pressure" and my response is "not if you give me some wine!" because I too have the Lilienthal Retroverted uterus which requires some "searching". By the end of the exam kris who has been sitting up with me by my head just looked at the doctor pale faced and says "yeah no she didn't ask me to do that to her". Doctor smirks responds "didn't think so" and walks out.


I used to have a doctor who had a poster of Garfield on the ceiling. You didn't notice it until you laid back. It said Why Me? And had a pic of Garfield with his arms up in the air and looking in the sky. I remember thinking my doc had a pretty good sense of humor to put a poster like that up there. My dentist has a tv in the ceiling, now that would be cool at the gyno's office!


I just found this story in your archives, and my tummy is getting sore from laughing so hard. I thought it couldn't get any funnier than the postage stamp incident (brings a whole new meaning to the word "mailbox", doesn't it?). But then I read Emily's comment. Good lord! Funny must run in the family!

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