(Caution to former English majors and literary types: please prepare to have your eyes bleed or shoot daggers and/or head explode. Or, you know, you could just look away)
The following is a conversation with a co-worker which was prompted by me citing an e-mail I'd written which stated that this Saturday I may or may not be at Walden Pond reciting Thoreau while doing my best water ballet (really, don't even bother asking).
Me: Hey, it was Thoreau ...the deal with Walden Pond - right?
Her: Um,... yeah that's right.
Me: Not Emerson or whashisname, Whitman or whatever? I always get those guys mixed up.
Her: Yeah.
Me: "Yeah" what?
Her: Um...I think so...or maybe...
Me: You're gonna make me Google this, aren't you?
Her: .....
Me (after Googling): I was right - phew.
Her: you know, I really love those old books. Little Women - that was Louisa May...
Me(cutting her off to show her how fucking smart I am): ...Alcott - yep.
Her: you read it?
Me: Yeah, ...
Her: I loved that book...I love books from that era. Another book I really loved was A Tale of Two Cities.
Me (in mild disbelief): Dickens?! Really?? Man, I hated that guy. Authors like those seemed like they were writing like they were getting paid by the fucking pound (ed note: I am aware they probably were). Like dude, get to the point already. Doesn't he have like the record for longest sentence or something. Over a hundred words?
Her (could totally give a shit): I don't know.
Me: yeah, I had to read that as a sophomore. I couldn't. I just took really good notes instead.
----------
Of course, I had to Google 'longest sentence' and if you're interested in that sort of thing, Dickens was flippin bush league compared to the results I found here.
And yes, the irony that I am making fun of long winded writers is not lost on me. Har, fucking, har-har.
But speaking of writers, you guys should totally check out Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress (rec is gender neutral, by the way. See side bar for the link to Amazon). It's a memoir of a woman who grew up in NYC in the 70s & 80s and she reminds me why I love memoirs to begin with -a really truly great read. I am not really good with the book reviews - I always end up frustrated and exasperated saying, "Listen, it's just a really great book, okay? Trust me - GOD!" Hey, I don't work for Susan Jane Gilman or her publishers - so I think that my professionally* unbiased opinion should get you to read it. I am seldom, if ever wrong on recs. I am willing to part with my copy if anyone is interested.
*opinions are also unprofessionally unbiased.
I would think that the longest sentence, well, anywhere--would be in german. i could be wrong about that. i'm not googling it. Ich bin faul.
also, give dickens a second chance. i was unimpressed in high school, but Great Expectations is fantastic, and yes, you might have to get used to the idea of
serialized novels, but dickens wrote some seriously good stuff. How could you not love the freaking effed up Miss Havisham??? and truly, the way some of these modern novelists crank out the material--well, let's just say the times, they ain't so different.
Signed,
you knew I was going to respond to this post. and at length.
Posted by: fancypants | July 22, 2005 at 05:16 PM
yeah, my temporment is *probably* a little different than that of my 15 year old self - and I'll assume that's a good thing. And I did (as an act of my own volition) start to read Anna K. and tho I could manage it, got to page 50 something and stopped. This may have contributed to me being daunted by "long winded" writers (Hello, Ayn Rand). And while I'm certain these stories (dickens') are amazing, coupled w/ the fact that I *can* read 300+ pages in a week (on the bus and 1 day at the beach just recently) and therefore, deep down somewhere in me (probably behind my gall bladder) I know I have the discipline, but..., I don't know...dude....*Dickens*???...
really???
G.E - can I at least see the Gwenyth Paltrow/Ethan Hawke movie first?? ;)
I am also daunted by YOUR rec of same cuz I'm prettty sure "Middlemarch" is in your Top 5 and if I'm not mistaken even that gives the *Bible* a run for its money in terms of length.
Posted by: Once More | July 22, 2005 at 08:15 PM
that movie was the worst. but gwynnie always irritates me.
i guess it's an acquired taste. But I think that you would like Great Expectations. I do. it's really funny, if you can believe it.
Middlemarch is soooo long. but yes, I love it. but the two are very, very different. Remember, CD was like the----I dunno----stephen king of his day. so he is more accessible. Even if you weren't born in the 19th century.
Posted by: fancypants | July 22, 2005 at 10:32 PM
I also have to admit enjoying Dickens. But it's true that if you read it in bed, the book might fall on your face a couple of times.
Posted by: Tim | July 25, 2005 at 08:52 AM