"Crack is Whack."

My sister Emily, as you may or may not know, is rounding out her final 4-5 weeks of being pregnant.  For whatever reason, she felt compelled to keep her husband "involved" in the process and has him reading books and just recently, going to some birthing prep class. My sister Kate feels this is just el stupido only with respects to the fact that it opens the door for input. The main crux of her argument is, if you have the ability to push a kid out of through your penis, then we'll talk about how much input you get.  If you can't, then do not talk to me about whether or not I should get, say, drugs during the delivery.  (this was not meant to start an argument abot guys having input or not. I believe the point was that when it's the person popping the kid out, they're the one holding on to the last trump card in the hand that is Delivery). Kate was adamant, "GET THE DRUGS! Everybody gets the drugs!" (can you believe Kate's a graduate of D.A.R.E. ?)

So the other night as he was flipping through one of the pregnancy books doctor's waiting room and innocently enough says to her, "So, you ever think about a water birth?" to which Em ever so subtly negotiated, "Ya ever think about crack!?"

I am pretty sure that WASN'T hormones talking either.

I also think the Dad-to-be is a little worried about, um, howyousay, the uh, effects of a Post-Partum Em. And, to be perfectly honest here?  Quite frankly, so would I. That's just good sense. (Hi, EM! Love ya like a Sis! Keep on trucking!). However, I would NEVER, ...EVER mention this to a 9 month pregnant woman  by stating that the reason behind his concern about the post-partum stuff was because of her (Oh yes, he said this) "anger management issues*".

[insert the "oh no he DI-ints....here]

[and like I said, Oh yes he DID.]

Oh, how excited I am for this kid to arrive.  I have a feeling this family of 3 is gonna give me a lot of material (oh, and I might be genuinely thrilled to see the kid too. right.)

And in a completely random one-off fact about my niece Sarah - today she was going on about the eye color of her family members i.e. "Owen has blue, just like Daddy." And when Kate asked, "and what color eyes do I have?" she took Kate's face in her hands, studied her eyes intently and announced, "You have green eyes, Momma, just like Jennie."  For some reason, when I heard this? I felt like I won a prize or something. Is that weird?

{* note I do not feel Em has anger mgmt. issues. Don't get me wrong, she DOES enjoy her an Excel spreadsheet something fierce (Type-A anyone??) and ditto a good, long winded, occasionally bordering on hysteria, rant every now and again but I wouldn't say she's angry.}

Comments

[Dawn]

Pregnant women should not be fucked with...EVER. They should be approached in gentle soothing tones and delicious cookies.

Do not suggest that they are hormonal, or that they are acting this way "because". Actually this is good standard advice for any man, dealing with any woman.

And you are correct. The person from whence the child is coming, gets all the "props" - including the decision making about what to take, when and how often.
If she wants a fat old doobie, he should roll it up and give it to her.

[OnceMore]

I hope my sister Em read this. cookies & doobies: kinda go together like chocolate & peanut butter.