Here's a question: Why is it, after graciously inviting your friends over to your home, generously providing them with "the good beer" and some top shelf hooch, preparing the best White Trash Dip they'll ever eat in their young lives, great music, a meticulously re-choreographed, very exclusive lap dance performance, a cartwheel competition, and might I add, a house so clean it'd do Martha Stewart proud (a rarity), why is it, that these same people feel it is within their rights as guests in my home to be so....so...hateful?
End of Season Soccer Party, August 12, 2006 recap:
Chips and White Trash Dip: $15
Bottle of Grey Goose, chilled: $25
Amstel, Sam's Summer, Corona: $45
Guests inquiries of "Where's Jen?" around 1:30 a.m. after said Jen being M.I.A. for a half hour and learning she is secretly taking a "power nap" ("I just wanted to be fresh for the rest of the party was all!" the victim has been reported as saying) and then someone suggesting, "Hey, let's take a picture of our beloved captain; she's always throwing that camera of hers up in our faces!" and oh, and was somebody (Joe) also ticking my feet at one point!?: Priceless.
No respect for their captain. Losers. I hate them all. Had this party taken place during the winter, I would've been better concealed under a pile of coats.
(though had the tables been turned, I may have been inclined to do the same thing)
(but it wasn't that way, so these people = DEAD TO MEEEEE)
(click on the picture for further notes about my feelings regarding each guest)
Friends...who needs 'em?
hee hee...Looksa like ya had some fun.
Posted by: Janet | August 14, 2006 at 12:07 PM
I am dying over the look on the guys face that is trying to sit on your head. Absolutely priceless! Your (ex) friends are cool.
Posted by: marnie | August 14, 2006 at 12:31 PM
You got a recipe for that White Trash Dip?
Posted by: mamatulip | August 14, 2006 at 12:46 PM
layer of cream cheese, layer of no bean chili (I hate beans, and also, farting) layer of salsa, layer shredded Monteray jack cheese, cook for 15 minutes @ 375-ish. Serve with Fritos Scoops (in keeping with white trash theme, nacho chips too classy)
Be prepared for various marriage proposals.
P.S. as should be of no concern to anyone, all awake persons in photo are inexplicably reported "missing".
Posted by: Jen | August 14, 2006 at 12:52 PM
Dude. i have that same print on my bathroom wall. Pier One? lol
I can't even see you buried under there. My son had three friends over Saturday night and one of them fell asleep and the others drew a permanent marker "hitler" stache under his nose. Which? Was super fun explaining to his mother at church the next day. Sigh. You KIDS.
Posted by: Rocky | August 14, 2006 at 01:06 PM
Ha ha ha ha! The sneaking out of your own party for a quick nap is one of my favorite tricks! Love it!
Posted by: Amy | August 14, 2006 at 03:19 PM
You're loved. I want friends to squat on me!
Posted by: lena | August 14, 2006 at 08:30 PM
So you'll be finding a new soccer team for next season then? How could they eat your White Trash Dip and drink your excellent booze and then be so MEAN? No respect, indeed.
Posted by: Elizabeth | August 14, 2006 at 08:39 PM
Okay, I hate to turn on ya, sistah, but who the hell takes a nap during a party?
I'm just catching up, and am scrolling down to see what trouble you got into at BlogHer. I'm going to feel ripped-off if there isn't at least one photo of you drunk, fully clothed and doing the backstroke in the pool.
(Thanks for the shout out at BlogHer. I'm sure the booing was deafening.)
Posted by: sweatpantsmom | August 15, 2006 at 10:56 AM
with all due respect, you'd be amazed how much later you can stay up with a secret power nap.
The flaw in the design of my plan was forgetting to set an alarm, so my 5 minutes turned into 5 hours.
Posted by: jen | August 15, 2006 at 11:54 AM
Nice. You know, every time I comment on your blog, I have the urge to call you "dude." Like: "Nice, dude." Why is that? I don't know. But DUDE - you rock.
Posted by: Liberal Banana | August 15, 2006 at 01:39 PM
heeestinkinlarious. Sorry, I would have been there, traumatizing you, too. Because I heart you.
With the utmost respect,
HS
Posted by: HollowSquirrel | August 16, 2006 at 08:53 PM
At least they didn't put shaving cream in your hand and then tickle your nose. Or put your hand in a bowl of warm water. That would have been really traumatic. This is only slightly traumatic. And really very funny.
Posted by: Contrary | August 18, 2006 at 07:52 AM
I am horrible and this makes me laugh. But only because you are cool.
I swear.
Posted by: Isabel | August 18, 2006 at 02:11 PM