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April 05, 2007



Buy Preparation-H.

Call doctor re: butt plug removal.

Call parole officer.

Submit paperwork for Jen's long overdue promotion and raise.

Vote for Sanjaya.

Curris Jen all over, Kiss her on her nipable.

Sorry. I had to go there. And there. Don't get fired!


oh she took my "vote for sanjaya"!

*Cancel lipo surgery
*Renew playboy subscription
*Drop off dvds at blockbuster
*TIVO AI or America's Next Top Model (your choice there ;-)


Enlighten all sentient beings.


Remember the Deep thoughts or whatever it was called with jack handy from SNL? You could totally pull a bunch those one liners on reaffirming his self worth
or you could be realistic and if you actually KNEW things about his family (have to be delicate here) you could write
*call sister
*send so and so flowers
*ease Jen's pain from being overworked and underpaid
*Order Dancing with the Stars workout video (EXPRESS MAIL)
just a few to get you goin'
I might start a few myself, my boss LOVES the white board.

mike graham

being someone with a 10 ft whiteboard in my office i think this is quite funny. i think you are missing one whole angle here. IT is ofen not the person whose whiteboard you are writing on who reads it the most. it is almost an office sport to poke your head in and read the bosses whiteboard to see what sorporate info you can gleam. you have a power at your disposal for entire office dismay.


*finally start interviewing new admin
*replace entire hr staff
*migrate entire office to Mac computers

he will likely be the 14th person to get around to reading it...


Rent Fried Green Tomatoes and Beaches


Schedule vasectomy.
Refill desk flask
Plunge toilet
Call Tango teacher to reschedule class
Buy new rainbow sparkler dry erase markers



By the way Jen, you can buy your OWN marker yuh know! You shall not be stopped!


Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Learn to tell a joke.

Clip toenails.

Rub vigorously.


cornmeal, gunpowder, hamhocks, guitar strings.


Ooh, these are great so far. I like Mike's angle especially -- what might be cool is to add in all sorts of corny corporate-speak to his list:

Think outside the box
Leverage organizational synergy
Make it a win-win
Institute a sea change
Go for the low-hanging fruit
Read the memo

Anyone glancing at his whiteboard would be gag from the buzzword overload. :-)


ah, these are so great...I am going to have fun with this for quite a long time. I am actually looking fwd. to going to work next week.

"Victory shall be MINE!"


You could do some of those 'Love is...' things.

Love is...donuts in the break-room every morning

Love is...a three day weekend for no reason

Love is...50% raises for everyone

Like that.


"See Dermatologist re butt rash"

"I Blame Canada"

"Honk if you love Elvis"

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