A note from the author: was going thru some old photos on FLickr and saw some really bad vintage Jen and was reminded on this entry, which was posted 2 years ago (almost to the day). Felt it was deserving of a re-post. Enjoy the hideousness.
At my little Floridian friend Hill's request (edited to add: or so I thought. I did see SOMETHING today on her site asking, but apparently I have either lost my mind or she deleted it), some photos evidencing vintage offensive gear/hair. (what the hell, even if she didn't, I'll post them anyway)
Okay, all 3 of these were taken post-high school.
Apparently, in the early 90's, I suffered from Reverse Fashion Dysmorphic Disorder (or RFDD). How else could one explain why I thought a tartan plaid shirt buttoned all the way up (who did I think I was, Color Me Badd?) with a black skirt, black tights, and flats looked hot?
Winter, 1991. Don't even get me going on my hair. And you have NO idea how long that took me. My hair is VERY straight and let's just say, I'm sure if I did that everyday, I'd have carpal tunnel. Oh, and even though I am 18 here, I was off to a bar with my friend Tonya - in the freaking boonies (not on campus) of CT. This was due to the fact that I would get laughed at by the bouncers when I would try places were all the other kids went, I looked THAT young. Therefore, when you go to some hick bar, you are hit on by guys who are barely educated beyond 11Th grade and think it's hot when you chip a tooth on your beer bottle (you think I make this shit up, but I can show you the tooth if you ask me sometime). Also, when you come home for the dentist appt. to get it fixed, you will lie your face off to your mom and say it was chipped on a soda bottle.
Next up, this pic was taken Spring 1992 with my college best friend, Tonya. We are at her boyfriend's off campus apt./house. I don't know why, but I liked this shirt a lot and it was in heavy rotation that spring/summer (now that I think of it, despite the pinkness, I think that shirt may have even been from the guys' dept.). You can't see it really, but it has a mock turtleneck-neck. Luckily, one day I woke up with a slap to the face and realized I hated it.
What you can't really see is that I am wearing loose, rolled up shorts. Those, too, were put into heavy rotation. Wearing loose, baggy clothing was very big with me back then. Also documented in this pic is my hair at longest it ever was. I wish I hadn't flipped it behind my back like I did. I'm really curious to see how long I'd gotten it. I can say with about 99% conviction that am also wearing white canvas Tretorns.
In this next picture this is...1994, 1995? In this picture, I am with one of my dearest friends, Helen. I will tell you, it does not help your ego one bit as you're documenting your shameful ugliness (bonus, I have Braces Round 2 here) when your friend is also a part-time model (she did Nine West shows in NYC.)
Here, we're at her house and getting ready to go out. By the way, that is not a shirt I am wearing but rather the very hot, must-have item, The SKORT. I LOVE how I have paired it (yet again) with black tights and black flats. The Flats, upon closer inspection, you will find bear a striking resemblance to PILGRIM SHOES. Also, the shirt I'm wearing is something I "borrowed" from my friend Amy. It is a grey-purplely color that was, not velor but really soft material, so it kinda had a velor shimmer to it. It made me look linebacker-ish, I think (tho again, does not help that I am being featured with a petite, hot Asian chick. bitch). I am also in the process of growing out a bad haircut, so you're gonna have to cut me some slack on that one.
Anyway, as you can see for yourselves, RFDD is a terrible, terrible thing to live with. Though, even upon review so many years later and all the wincing that has gone on this evening, it's nice to know at least I was having a good time in spite of it.
Now...I'm not saying this because I didn't like Tonya.....even though she took FOREVER in the bathroom when she stayed over that one thanksgiving (and that's saying something in a house with four women/girls to begin with)....BUT did you notice the knotted Tshirt?? OH and the fact that she made fun of me for liking Debbie Gibson (which was age appropriate for ME at that time) yet...hmmmm her hair had a striking resemblence to Miss Gibsons with a lil' bit of Tiffany thrown in there for kicks.
And I think I remember helping you cut those shorts (I had flashbacks of that when you were at my house getting ready for the Halloween party this year). "Em look from the back, are they even??" We've all done it. You're just brave enough to post the pictures.
And don't make fun of the picture with Helen (that is a tough spot for anyone to be in (I refer back to your hot asian chick bitch comment of which I fully agree)...You seem to forget that your little sister had a copy of your bedroom key made (while you were SLEEPING might I add- damn I'm good) so I could always have access to what I considered your kick ass wardrobe (got some votes for best dressed that year but lost out to Nicki-never liked Nicki).
Posted by: Emily | November 23, 2005 at 08:25 AM
I think I had that grey top at one time. It was from the Limited or something. That purple shirt--there are no words.
Also? I am really tempted to post pictures of myself from the same years that you post above. We were like, opposite girls. My "going out" outfit in 1994 consisted of baggy old cords, thrift shop shirts, and vans or doc martins. So, at least you were trying, you know?
Posted by: jess | November 23, 2005 at 08:25 AM
Emily, I noticed the knotted tee. And the hair is pretty classic. I'm impressed by it, really.
Posted by: jess | November 23, 2005 at 08:26 AM
Yeah, in my early 20s I hung out with a slightly older crowd. Helen's about 25-6 or so here, so she's beyond the college chic and I think that's why I kicked it up a notch from sweatpants. It also "helped" that I stopped going to college F/T (grrrr) to work so I had to wear stuff that was accceptable in an office environment (Grrrrrr). Also, H. was the closet thing I got to an older sister so I am sure I on some level tried (and failed miserably) to emulate her a little.
The shorts Em are actually "store bought" rolled up deals (they were really loose around the leg - remember them?)tho I'm sure I was all "are these even" with those as well.
Posted by: Jen | November 23, 2005 at 08:52 AM
Actually, I think your friend Tonya looks a little mean in that picture. Like she's going to kick the photographer's ass. Possibly she was just jealous of your pink shirt.
Is your hair naturally brown? It looks light in the first picture, darker again in the 2nd, and then light...
I found some more scary "fashion" pics (if you want to consider my clothing fashionable in any sense) last night when looking for pics of the drunk face. I'm going to try and do more scanning this weekend, if'n I have a chance.
Posted by: Nancy | November 23, 2005 at 09:31 AM
Whaaat? We can't wear knotted t-shirts anymore? Sheesh...and as for black tights with a black skirt, that will NEVER go out of style (as long as God created Oompa Loompa legs, which in my case, he did.) And I could have told you that hanging out with Tonya Harding was a bad idea from the getgo. Look at her, all brazen, with her underage beer in her hand, badly influencing you...why I oughta...
Posted by: Teri | November 23, 2005 at 10:02 AM
Sorry, dear Jen, I was actually trying to add another pic hen typepad just shut down or something and I lost the whole damned post...???
N-E-who, EXCELLENT WORK!! (Feeling better about the platforms all the time!)
I'll re-post and re-issue the challenge this afternoon.
Muchas gracias for the participation and, just for the record:
I think overbites ARE sexy and I had braces twice too, so I TOTALLY feel ya!
Posted by: Hill | November 23, 2005 at 10:33 AM
Nance- the hair question is a slippery slope...I think in pic#2, it's the lighting, or my roots. W/o ANY chemicals, I'm a light reddish brown w/a few stray blond bits (did you get all that?). Of course, I feel the need to fuck with it all the time. Pic #3 is prob close to natural.
Posted by: Jen | November 23, 2005 at 12:12 PM
I'm feeling the glamour-shot hair and the tartan blouse.
I used to have a spiral perm and a bang pouf that took hours each day to construct (when I think of how much of my life I wasted doing my hair...)
I had a black suede miniskirt (probably from the Limited) that I wore with black tights, and this melon-colored shiny oversized silk blouse. One day while wearing this striking ensemble, I looked down and saw my blouse hanging out the bottom of my skirt. My sister's boyfriend told me that meant my skirt was the perfect length. Ick.
After that, I tucked the blouse into my pantyhose...
Posted by: roo | November 25, 2005 at 12:06 PM
I put braces back on myself in the late 90s - so fucking painful (and humiliating the first time I tried to speak to one of the guys who worked for me and succeeded only in accidentally spitting on him).
Black tights with black skirt - what's the problem? Am I really that much of a fashion fraud that I can't understand the objections to such a combo?
Posted by: Julie | November 26, 2005 at 10:42 PM
I think there should be a special Cool Kids Club for those who've experienced the fun of braces twice.
There's nothing wrong with the combo, just I relied upon same just about every. time. I. went. out. (that was winter) and in the spring/summer I had a khaki shirt/brown loafer/white t-shirt. Something w/ a heel might've been a nice touch. Those Pilgrim shoes were worn a lot with the skort [*shudders*]
Posted by: Jen | November 27, 2005 at 08:41 AM
Me thinks someone was "lord of the Highland Dance" in that first photo.
But I have No reason to call anyone else out for their fashion of yore. My first two years of college, I wore shimmery rayon hippy skirts with long underwear underneath - and Chucks. And those peruvian sweaters that were sold on the side of the road. C'mon. I was at UVM. That was high fucking fashion.
How I ever attracked a man who bathes and doesn't play hackysack, I'll never know.
Posted by: Dawn | November 27, 2005 at 10:02 AM
I also had a brief, half assed flirtation w/ the hippy chick look (tho I shaved my legs!)- sr. year high school and barely into freshmen year college. I did have a Deadhead Sticker on a Toyota Tercel (sorry, no Caddy), if that means anything. My sneaks in high school were low, offwhite Chucks, Stan Smiths and those indoor soccer shoes that every guy wore on the late 80s/early 90s. I'd still wear the Stans and Chucks now. They're classics.
Posted by: Jen | November 27, 2005 at 01:30 PM
Hey, whatever happened to that grey shirt? I remember you borrowing it.....but I don't remember getting it back...
Posted by: Amy | November 27, 2005 at 04:44 PM
Uh, Aim, I uhhhhh.... gave it back to you, don't you remember? the time I came over? Like a long time ago? Probably I gave it back to you. Maybe. Definitely maybe I gave it back.
Posted by: Jen | November 27, 2005 at 06:30 PM
I will sadly take this Jen...Amy chances are if I liked it (and I do recall liking it) then I probably swiped your shirt from Jen, not knowing that it wasn't hers in an effort to be a true fashionista...Jen will reimburse you for the shirt. Take care of it Jen. :)
Posted by: Emily | November 28, 2005 at 10:27 AM
We all knew what the problem was. Generations past, this thing was fine. Overbites were sexy, even. A man and a woman loved each other because of the out-thrust chin, not in spite of it. And the jaws of the children slid out further and further.
Nobody knows the exact date, but in the late '50s, the television came to town and changed everything.
Posted by: Golden Palance | October 27, 2006 at 05:52 PM
The shirt you're wearing in the second picture reminds me of those Hypercolour shirts. 'Member those?
Posted by: mamatulip | November 27, 2007 at 02:21 PM
Let me assure you, you rock that hair. Is that a Toni perm in picture #2? And what's your beef with pilgrim shoes? Funny.
Posted by: Mrs. G. | November 27, 2007 at 11:27 PM
Mrs. G- CURLING. IRON. Much,, MUCH time spent inthe bathroom to achieve that look. And hairspray.
Posted by: jen from boston | November 28, 2007 at 12:37 AM
MamaTulip - Yeah, I do. Somehow I managed not to pick myself up one.
Posted by: jen from boston | November 28, 2007 at 12:39 AM
Love it. I also rocked the pilgrim shoes with black tights. What we really need, though, are some pictures with leg warmers that match the hair scrunchie. That was serious fashion right there.
Posted by: halloweenlover | November 28, 2007 at 09:30 AM
OH MY GOD. Tretorns! I had a bajillion of those. I loved them.
Posted by: Ceece | November 28, 2007 at 09:44 PM
oh i remember this post...how fun.
and the SKORT. ahhh...the memmmmories.
Posted by: stella | November 29, 2007 at 12:17 PM
Hey! What's wrong with skorts? They are right up there with the spork! BTW, LOVE the bangs in the last pic. Classic.
Posted by: Amy | November 30, 2007 at 08:26 PM