Late this afternoon, I decided to finally dust off the running shoes, find the sports bra, and head to the new gym I signed on with about 2 weeks ago.
And I don't know why I feel compelled to add this, but this is NOT a New Year's resolution. It is just something that needs to be done and it's taken me 6 months to get back at it. (So not the point of this post. Just thought the timing of me saying I joined a new gym on January 4 looked suspect.)
Anyway, as I said, at the new gym for the first time. I started off on the bike, and I had my water and magazine. All was well. Once done with the bike, I decided to drop my magazine back into my bag in the locker room so I could freely move about to work on the weight machines.
As I headed into the locker room, I still had the iPod volume fully cranked and I was zoning out listening to the music, contemplating lots of little stupid shit. As I made my way around, my eye line was downward seeking locker #180. And I got to the spot where I would have it would be, I got confused - the numbers were nowhere near 180, ....and, wait, this is weird, the room's layout is not quite how I remembered ....
... I lifted my head to get my bearings and it is only at this moment that I realize....
I AM IN THE MEN'S LOCKER ROOM.
Somehow I was able to squash a squeal of shock (and yes, there were naked men. the nerve.) and booked it out of there. And I can tell you, the walk of shame heading to of the MEN'S LOCKER ROOM as a woman is as awesome as it sounds.
Fortunately, 5:30 on a Saturday evening, the gym wasn't all that crowded. I mean, had I done this on a weekday, can you imagine how many bare butts (which I saw) and hairy backs my delicate sensibilites would have been exposed to? Thankfully tonight's episode no one noticed me (THANK YOU JESUS) and no Full Montys.
So to sum up: My night - like Porky's, only in reverse.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!
That is rich. I would have loved to see the look on your face. Classic!
Posted by: Nancy | January 06, 2008 at 07:17 AM
I honestly don't know how I didn't make an audible gasp that brought attn. to myself.
(wait, I did have laryngitis, maybe that saved me)
Posted by: jen from boston | January 06, 2008 at 10:55 AM
men are so gross, especially at the gym. it's like all the men of the world who don't need to be seen naked, ever.
glad you made it out alive and relatively unharmed.
Posted by: tiff | January 06, 2008 at 01:07 PM
I did that at a restaurant last year! Except I was seen! But the good thing was that there were no naked men in the restaurant bathroom. I feel your pain!
Posted by: -R- | January 06, 2008 at 02:34 PM
Oh DAMN. Dude. Only you.
Posted by: HollowSquirrel | January 06, 2008 at 04:22 PM
OMG! Hilarious!
Posted by: Chick | January 06, 2008 at 07:10 PM
Hmmm....that sounds like this movie I saw once...
Posted by: Tim | January 07, 2008 at 08:57 AM
that sounds just like something I would do. Sorry that your workout plan will have to be halted forever, obviously you can't go back. at least not at that same time. or without a new haircut.
Posted by: Jennie | January 07, 2008 at 01:07 PM
Thanks for the giggle,I thought I was the only one with those kind of brillaint moves!!!!
Posted by: Genevieve Olsen | January 07, 2008 at 09:30 PM
Oh damn I hate mispelled words!!! I meant :Thanks for the giggle; I thought I was the only one with those kind of brilliant moves!!!!
Oh well at least I caught my own mistake hehe! Have a great week!
Posted by: Genevieve Olsen | January 07, 2008 at 09:33 PM
Oh, now. They TOTALLY noticed. And made crude, rude jokes after you left.
That's how guys roll.
: )
I adore your blog, BTW.
Posted by: Susan Gets Native | January 09, 2008 at 11:20 PM
The least you could have done was get a camera phone shot. Sheesh.
Posted by: Contrary | January 10, 2008 at 01:55 PM
hee hee. you didn't have your camera? that was an excellent photo opp!
Posted by: Amy | January 11, 2008 at 04:38 PM
This is my first time here, from -r-'s site, and what a hilarious post to see. Thanks for the laugh!
Incidentally, if it had been a man in the woman's locker room, he'd have been arrested. Ha.
Posted by: 3carnations | January 25, 2008 at 02:35 PM