The Tuesday Lunchbucket

This is the random crap that's been going on that I've been meaning to write about and am using this as a catch all before I forget what it was that it was so important that I thought people might care about it.

In case you didn't hear, The Patriots did not win the Superbowl.  I know, ....no,  I know. It hurts, it hurts real bad (almost the perfect-perfect season!) (and for Giants/non-Pats fans - for the love, stop calling me) but let's move on.  Or blame Gisele.  (I think I saw a fake-news promo clip actually insinuated as much. Boy.) Or take solace that the Giants' ticket-tape parade is in the rain and the fans will get wet and so will their socks and they'll probably catch a cold or a serious chill or possibly a sinus infections or something. So there is that. 

Also, I was SO on edge during the game, that when my phone vibrated that a text message had come in from my Dad (as we had been texting back & forth), I totally screamed and jumped as someone who had just been attacked.   It was very similar to Vince Vaughn's character in Mr. & Mrs. Smith, when he, holding a rather large, loaded gun yelling at his mom, "Mom! We are on high alert here. I almost killed you right then! You do not even realize!"

I also realized that my shit talk needs to improve by like, by a lot.  When the Giants ran the ball (I think Manning was running? trying to find someone?), I can be quoted at sputtering, "get him!....kill him!...cut him....with a shiv!" 

**************************************************************************************************************************

My sister Kate, her kids Sarah and Owen are throwing my a birthday party tonight at their house. The kids are very excited about it and last week Sarah informed me, "yeah...I'm gonna wear a dress." So I will ALSO be fancying it up for this (I hope pictures to follow).  Since the planning stages of this party, Sarah (age 5) has been bugging my sister about the buying  of the present.  When asked What should we get her? she thought about it and decided, "Clothes."  Love that.

Kate put the nix on clothes but yesterday Sarah in a panic asked Kate, "Mom, do you have a picture of me and Aunt Jennie?  That's what we need to give her for her birthday." When Kate told her she didn't, Sar shot back, "Well, you better get on it. We're almost out of time."

***************************************************************************************************************************

I was talking to my other sister Emily and telling her how our sister Kate was over last night and how she got a little tipsy on wine and decided to then do the full court press on me and Mike getting on the baby making train.   I said to Em that she needs to work on her delivery, as mentioning that I am old (You're THIRTY-FIVE! THAT'S ADVANCED MATERNAL AGE." (Yes, I am aware of my age, puddin pop), however, kudos to her, she at least tried to sweeten the deal by offering a few days a week of free child care.

Em's response: "I'd get that in writing."

(no need to harp on Kate harping on me and my youthful age - she just using every bullet in her arsenal to get me to get knocked up because she thinks I'd make a great mom. (oh, and Mike a dad)).

****************************************************************************************************************************

Ironic moment of the week awarded to my birthday, where I was out having a few drinks but thought I would have to cut myself off at some point so I could go home and make it in time to see a new episode of Celebrity Rehab. Which, even though I was home by 8:45, I was too tired and buzzed to stay awake until 10:00 to see it.

*****************************************************************************************************************************

Speaking of which, I think many of us are on the same page as to the awesomeness of the Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. Some might say we're ....addicted.

Really, the show is so good (and for those in the know, did you see the previews for this week's episode?  Baldwin=BUSTED.  I, for one, Cannot. wait.)

So, because so many people have Lost, or 24, or "that Heidi Klum show" covered, I think I might start do a very loose recap of this show (on VH-1 on Thursdays @10:00, although they replay it all the time)and give my report on each participant as they progress/regress/remain as is.   I will expound upon who I think is actually pretty normal/intelligent and nurturing  when they're not on the sauce/stuff (Sylvester Stallone's ex, Brigitte Nielson), who my heart goes out to (former American Idol finalist Jessica Sierra) , who really, really, REALLY needs to be there (Taxi/Grease star Jeff Conaway) and who is the biggest asshole of the group (hands down, Daniel Baldwin).

**************************************************************************************************************************

Finally, I received a phonecall from my will-be trainer at the gym.  I think he had been trying to catch me for awhile, I having signed on beginning of January for a 3 trainer session-pack thing.  And it's now February.  Anyway, he starts with the small talk of "how were your holidays" (um, they were nice...a month ago")and asking me if I'd been going to the gym.  Um, YEAH I HAVE.(twice).

It was when he asked me this, that I realized that lying to a trainer on the phone is like lying to a priest at Confession.  There's a part in Confession where you admit to your when your last Confession took place.  Well, like any good Catholic I never go, but you don't WANT to tell the priest, "I have no idea.  I couldn't even tell yo uwho was in office."  But you can't lie because, you know, this would defeat the purpose of what you're trying to accomplish.

So back to the trainer, I felt that if I had bullshitted him about how often I've been going, I'd get called out because they gym ID scans you in and all he'd have to do is look me up on the computer while we were on the phone and see that  it's been twice in a month, including a the one with the trip to the men's locker room. T hen, upon realizing my lie, I think he'd take it out on me during our session.  So  truthfully I told him, "Yeah..I've been going...a few times. You know, here and there."

Comments

[tiff]

sign me up for reading that recap biznass. I always want to watch the show but 10pm is so....late. Um, I didn't say that. I usually catch it in 2 hour blocks on the weekends.

[Nancy]

Once is Here, twice is There. You're covered.

[Amy]

Ugh. Daniel Baldwin is THE WORST. He never shuts up!

[Teri]

Well, regarding Daniel Baldwin....he's only there to be of help to others, you know, because all his cocaine use is in the PAST. Also, being with those other ruffians is jeopardizing his sobriety. What's a man to do?
Re: the confession thing. My next door neighbor, growing up (you remember, Vinny Carbone?)once gave me his key to a perfect confession. "You just admit to anything you're comfortable with....and then at the end add 1 lie. sounds like a reliable plan. But, ya know, he was a "public".

[jen from boston]

Tee, this is what gets me. Didn't he mention in his intake that they found "point 1 nanograms [sic] of metabolized cocaine in his system" and asked the good doctor if it was "possible to have cocaine linger in your system for an extended period of time." Now, we don't get a clear indication of the timeframe of the "nanogram of metabolized coke" but the doc was like, "uh, no, it doesn't hang around indefinitely - but nice try."

[Teri]

Yeah, you read that the same way I did. You couldn't tell if he was talking about the admission people there, or at a past rehab. But, Dr. Drew was having none of it. Yet, after that conversation, Daniel was still giving the same hype about just wanting to give others the benefit of his PAST experiences.

[-R-]

I watched the first episode of Celebrity Rehab while drinking 3/4 of a bottle of wine. Awesome.

I love your niece's order. You better get on that!

[Kiraa]

Bwahah, Daniel Baldwin is like the total typical addict personality. He makes excused for everything. Lies about everything. BS's everyone. Why, oh why, does he still have a wife? And a wife that agreed to get knocked up? Is she cuh-razy?

I love shows where I can watch and judge and feel good about it.