Do I What?

For those of you who don't look at my Flickr photos or are not one of my many (Oh, so, SO MANY!*) besties on Facebook, the current situation is this:

I'm pregnant.

Twenty-three weeks tomorrow, to be exact.

For the majority of these past 23 weeks, it's been a pretty easy going pregnancy...that is, until mid-March hit and my health decided not to play it cool anymore (most of which were your virus/upper respiratory related crap, not the kid). March made me its bitch,  landing me in more doctors' offices then I have seen in the past 5 years combined (at least). For that, I'm telling March to go fuck itself and begging April to be "the cousin for me".  I have a post written in my head about March, but  I'll save it for later.

Instead, I ask your indulgence for  the Weird Shit/Advice People Say to the Knocked Up .

Alright, so technically thus far I haven't gotten too much with the weird shit because my change in girth has only just started to look the part and my weight gain negligible. Therefore, my temporary "celeb status" at work, of being the only one in the "delicate state",  hasn't really hit its full stride just yet.

I did, however, receive this gem....which...I'll let you judge:

    Gal at work (had baby last year), walking towards me and I her: So, are you waddling yet?

    Me: Um, no.

I've read many a site and comments about stupid shit people say to pregnant women, but this, to my best recollection, is a first.

And, let's connect the dots here, shouldn't the Gal at Work be able to empirically derive whether or not I am waddling? Particularly given that I was, you know, WALKING TOWARDS HER?

I think this Gal at Work (GaW) is excited for me, but man, ...I dunno. Weird. And I know I wasn't going to be immune to The Stupid Shit (and I bet I could have made a comment that chapped someone a little despite my best intentions) but seriously? Do I WADDLE? 

Not quite on the High Score List for originality,  but she was also was the same woman who, when she asked what I was taking for maternity leave, I said 12 weeks (I think that's my plan anyway), laid into me that I should be taking more!, 12 is not nearly enough!, it goes by too quick!, for the first 6 weeks she felt like crap trying to heal!, you need to bond with baby!, and so on.

Well, maybe she is right.  I mean, she could be. I just hope she doesn't freak when I forward her my mortgage bill.

Anyway, I open the comments to add your gems, either directed at you or crap you've heard second/third hand.

* okay - FINE, I come from a large family.  WHAT OF IT?

Comments

[HollowSquirrel]

GaW sounds like she's going to be spouting more and more from her assvice box in the near future.

[-R-]

Someone at work told me I was so big she was surprised I still fit down the hallway.

[jane]

"When are you due?" This was in the hospital cafeteria, three or four days after I'd had the baby! Good times, good times...

[jess]

I am waddling at this point. It will happen.

[jen from boston]

Squirrel, yeah, so far she has been the main fountain of my comments.
There was one about my face, too. Oh shut up, GaW.

R- nice...nice. I wonder if you could have offered, "but my size 8s are big enough to fit up your....ha, ha. Kidding!"

Jane - blergh. Did you say "want to meet him/her? s/he's just upstairs."

Jess, I understand. However, 1. my belly isn't that big to warrant inquiries of my balance, and 2. if I'm walking towards you, that question should answer itself. Do ppl. just make up questions to ask??

[Emily]

I hear you can really on tell a full waddle from behind....not defending her at ALL though, WAY out of line there.
I attended a happy hour for someone who was leaving the company three weeks after Libby was born and someone asked me "so when are you having the baby." (please note I have a beer in hand...i pumped before i left!) I looked at him and said "ummmmm three weeks ago, thanks for noticing!" I SAT RIGHT OUTSIDE HIS OFFICE! His wife made him send me flowers on my first day back at work. She was petrified he tossed me into PPD.
people are morons when it comes to pregnancy.

[Fraulein N]

Congrats! Oh, people are assholes.

[sesli chat]

Thank You..

[stella]

JEN!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! CONGRATS!

off to flickr.

also - JESS - are you blogging anymore??? how are you doing, and when are you due??? how is jonas???

[roo]

Maybe she likes to watch people waddle, and was asking in a sort of hopeful way, so you'd demonstrate...

Yeah. It's a stretch. And my version only makes her weirder.

Well, congratulations, Jen from Boston! I'm horribly behind the times -- I should do the math-- have you had the baby already?

Either way-- great news!