It's Gut Check Time, People.

Today, 8 p.m. EST, I will be located on a indoor turf field, chasing some ball,  praying to The Baby Jesus I don't pass out from exhaustion. Or a ball to the face.

After a two and a half year hiatus, I am playing soccer again.  The team is of the co-ed variety and I, being of the tender age of 38, am guessing I will be on a team of those whose date of birth may  *technically* render me old enough to be their mother.  I wonder if I'll yell over to a kid, "Pull up yaw draws,  Baby Gap!"  I could be that old lady.

Anyway...

Once upon a time, I looked like this:

 

See how bright (beet red) and cheery I am? And this is after a game.  Sure, I'm what, 16 (and a HALF!) years  old here? Somehow am thinking this is not how tonight's game ending will look. Maybe I'll be a vision of beet-red in the face loveliness, but am guessing that's where the similarities will end.

For you see,  I have essentially gone out my way as much as one can to NOT prepare for this evening's events- unless MLS counts "holding a kid on a hip" as some form of strength conditioning.  It is my hope (and prayer) my scrappy personality counts for something here, and translates on the field. Just let me stay upright.  I don't think that's being greedy.  I am also guessing (just a thought) it might serve me to have the inhaler ready.  Even better, it might actually be a stellar idea if I actually remembered that inhaler. Damnit.  I guess a pit stop to the CVS is going to have to happen.

Speaking of other adventures in highly organized preparedness, I thought I had it on good authority the sorta-kinda exact locale of my cleats.  So color me completly stunned  this morning when I decided to look for them- as I packed my bag (also this morning) that they decided to not be anywhere near where I thought they were. WTF, cleats?  So this little oversight cost me a trip to the City Sports at lunch today.  Fortunately, the pair I got were 1. on sale and perhaps of greater importance 2. not ugly.

(You think I'm kidding about #2 being a factor in my buying decision.)

 (You don't think these will make my calves look fat, right?)

Story time:

Back in the day (about 4 years ago), I played in an indoor game and got checked by some dude into a wall. In the process of that collision, which I feel the need to add I don't think he was going out of his way to hurt me or be a prick, my hand got pressed back into the glass. When it was over, immediately the wrist hurt like HELL.  I got off the field, checked it out. I could move it, but it really hurt.  Sure it was starting to swell, but I decided to go back on and play some more. Because I am smart.

When I realized that I was always bracing my arm across my abdomen to run, I thought probably it was best to call it a night. When I got home, I showed it to Mike, and then, after calling  my sister/nurse for advise, went to the ER.  X-Rays confirmed I had broken my wrist.

All this to say, I've used this as an example to have it in me to be incredibly bad ass I am (I have mentioned how tough I am on labor & delvery floors i.e "don't worry, I play soccer")  (Seriously, I played soccer with a broken wrist- what have YOU done, chief?). Or,  as some people close to me have generously pointed out, incredibly stupid.

So here I go, totally unprepared, only armed with a desire to get back into it, after missing it so much for so long.

I am either incredibly bad ass or incredibly stupid.

We'll see where I think I landed on that one tomorrow morning.

 

Comments

[Nancy]

I bet you'll still be a badass. There might be a bit of a re-learning curve, sure, but parenthood can prepare you for anything. It's the most serious endurance sport there is.

[JenfromBoston]

Thanks for having faith in me, Nance. I deem your analysis to have merit, for somehow I was able to stay upright, unharmed, and played a solid C+ game.

[elizabeth-flourish in progress]

BADASS, for sure.

We need an update? How did it go???

Also, holding a kid on a hip counts for all kinds of conditioning? =)

[jane]

You're officially a bad-ass mom...if I use a treadmill, I think I'm pretty tough. Glad to have you back posting!

[jen from boston]

Thanks for the votes for Bad Ass, ladies.

I survived with nary a (noticeable) head injury in sight(I did head the ball, too). Thank God for subs, tho. I don't know how I would have done if I had to play the entire time.

Thanks, Jane. Trying to get back into it. Helps to know you guys are still around these parts! I know I kinda let it go for awhile.

[roo]

You had a St. Patty's Day game?

I hope you were able to refresh yourself after the game with a green beer.

I know it's been a while since I've seen you, but you looked remarkably the same then that you did at sixteen (and a half.) In other words, you may feel older than the other kiddies, but you probably don't look any older.

Nice cleats!

[JenfromBoston]

Hey Roo Girl- Yeah, a St. Pat's game (and the team was all of the "like, we're going home" mind- I know: LAME.) They all appeared in their 30s, so I wasn't too GRANDMA-GET OFF MY LAWN!-aged in comparison.

Thanks for the compliment. I was actually 16 and three-quarters. I feel I need to be accurate in my reporting there.

Those cleats? better help me drop a dress size. NO PRESSURE, CLEATS!