Once More with Feeling.

COME THE FUCK ON, Bridget!

What's that the kids say when the ball rolls into another team's field? "Lil' help?"

yeah - I need you help.

Am. blocked.

No, not like that. (though most days you'd be right)

I mean, writer-blocked.

So, where you come in...questions for me? Ideas? Something you want to hear?

Am totally whoring myself out for you. My public. My friends. My.....soulmates. (you're my density, ...I mean - destiny!)

Just be breezey.  This site doesn't cure cancer or anything.

Winner of best of ideas, wins A Major Award.

And by major award, I just recently rediscovered the worst picture of myself and maybe I'll allow you to caption it.

For reals.

Listen- I'd help you out. Or maybe I have already.  Be mah friend.

Jesus. H, people.

Chip-chop-chip.

Thanks.

In the spirit of things that ARE a good read as of late (unlike these digs), might I walk you over to this gem about butter. And kitchen drawers. Burberry cars. oh yah, and arson.

Help me help myself: cellphones and winter jackets.

To the people who have my cell number and have used it recently:

I can't find it. No, really. It's true.  I lost something.

The good news: for the first time in about 5 years? I have a landline.
The bad news: I have no idea what my phone number is. 

So, to my sister Kate whose phone number is the only number I have committed to memory: do not laugh when I call you from said land line to ask you what the number on caller-ID is.

Having said that, whether this phone makes another appearance or not, its days are numbered as I hate, no, make that LOATHE the Razr phone I have from Verizon.  The battery life alone has created havoc in my personal life. Then sometimes I get my messages ("you have 10 new messages" - WHAT?! ) and then sometimes not. Or a text I send is delayed 3 days or I don't know, but what I do know is I AM SO OVER YOU, RAZR PHONE.

My 2 years-get-a-free-phone-upgrade deal is nearing (January) and I want something new.  Different new.   But I am not sure what to get and what to stay away from.

I wouldn't mind something like a - what you call it - Sidekick or similar device (the kids call them PDAs or something?), e-mail and phone and/or internet.  I don't see the iPhone in my future but something a little more...substantial I guess.  So, any recs or warnings from the peanut gallery?

In other I'm a needy bastard news: I bought two coats which I cannot decide between.  The pics feature me with wet hair and no makeup, and the battery then died during this, so I kinda look like ass and the pics are kinda meh, but you get the idea.  Details are on the Flickr pages.  Help me  out (hey, I'd help you out).

Updated to add: am only now thinking that the phone MAY possibly be in the suit I wore Wednesday.  The suit's jacket had pockets and I remember I turned the phone off as I was at an event.  If I have ANY luck (as it is world's smallest phonebook for me), it's in there.  God, I hope so. I really do not want to send the "please give me all your digits"  e-mail to everyone I know.

Harnessing your powers of wit for good not evil. (Okay, a little evil)

My manager has a new white board in his office.  This is great for me because I have always enjoyed a canvass to write on that also erases. 

My manager is a list driven guy, and so, everyday for the past week I have taken it upon myself to add something to his lists, hoping my words blend in and that he'll won't notice it for awhile and then be talking on the phone and see it, laugh, hahaha-that-Jen's-a-real-pill. Our handwriting can look a little similar, so it was possible.

Unfortunately, he always sees it and  by 9:-ish it's been erased. To his credit, he was kind enough to keep the "Jen rulz" in small chicken scratch in the far corner for almost 2 whole days.

So far I have added to his lists:

Eat more fiber.

Try being pleasant for a change.

Pick up milk.

Now, before he  gets smart and starts hiding the dry erase markers on me, here's where you come in if you're game.

I plan on doing this for a very long time.  Maybe I'll mix it up and some days it'll be daily, and then I'll take a break just to throw him off.  If you have ANY suggestions, I'm taking submissions.  Of course, it has to be clean not too wordy.  If I use it, I'll take a picture of it and post it. 

Milton and I thank you in advance.

Updated to add:  Oh, the Vote for Sanjaya is brilliant! Gives me almost a full week to sit on it, leading him to believe I have given up and thus, vulnerable to my (and your) handiwork.  Awesome. I cannot wait until Tuesday.

Begin the Begin

So, yesterday's post about the beauty salon's skincare Nazis got me thinking,

"What do most people do?"

Are you meticulous and consistent with your skincare routine?

Are you the 12-stepper?

Are you a "ya know, before there was soap, there was water and those people did just fine"-er?

Have you ever employed unorthodox methods such as scotch tape for removing dry flaky, peeling skin (uh, that one is just something I made up. off the top of my head. yeah.)

Somewhere in the middle?

Do you do everything you're supposed to and still think you look like  decroded piece of crap? Do you do one thing right and see big results?  Have you made any kind of investment like seeing a dermatologist for any kind of treatment? And is there a product that rocks your world (and if so, please tell me)?

I'm asking. What's your deal? 

_____________________________________________________________________

On a unrelated note, more pictures are up.  Some good stuff.

I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

I think everyone has to have someTHING about them: a tick, a quirk, a compulsion, and for some of us, an obsession. And it's these "somethings" that  we don't want to admit to and so instead we go on about our lives quietly hiding these weird things about us behind  closed doors.

Well, enough of that. The time has come!

Here is mine (well, one of mine):

Yes, I am a sneaker addict.

The thing of it is, this doesn't look that bad to me.  I mean, that bad.  No seriously, I could do a lot more damage if it weren't for limited shoe space. 

What does kill me is that there are 2 pairs (top row, far left 2) that don't get worn.  And there was another pair that got donated to Goodwill which hardly worn (thank you Marathon Sports for persuading me to buy hundred dollar white "clown running shoes"). I also (stupidly) chucked (in the "make space" movement I was feeling a year or 2 ago) some cranberry colored Adidas Gazelles.  DUMB. I'm getting those back! This would have brought the total to NINE.

As with any addiction, each come with it's own unique lame excuse/justification (i.e.bottom row 2nd from right Asics bought in December were "going to make me run faster" and bottom far left Asics purchased in early January are "bouncier" and are my current favorite workout sneak and critical in my choice of footwear: they don't make my calves look fat).

So this is my stupid thing that I seem to be stock piling with no end in sight.  What's yours?

View 2, if you were you know, curious (gosh, this is so liberating!):

Also, I still want these. They also come in navy.  What is a girl to do?

As usual, right on time.

So it's been Delurk Week all week long and here it is Friday and uh, ...right.  So, if you are not familiar with the term, simply put it means you nice people who hit this site on occassion without a gun to your head* and don't ever say "Hey, what up", yeah, you people, I would be very interested hearing from you.  Truly.  Not even kidding.

*i.e. my sisters

Also:

So please, hook a sister up with a comment (even you, the usual suspects).  Maybe add a random fact about yo'self.

(Confidential to Wassau insurance peep, I am esp. curious - Do I know you? Do you know me? Do you, like me, when asked what is it that I do for a living want to make something up like "trapeze artist" or "photo journalist" or "Starbucks barista" (they always seem like happy people, ya know?) rather than explain insurance and/or underwriting to someone? I swear my friend's husband still thinks I'm an actuary.)

Anyway, a slow week over here EXCEPT for one day that I did something which will make for a GREAT FUCKING WEEK (month, year(s)) starting next week and that is all I gotta say about that.  And I must leave it at that because, as you know, counting chickens before they're hatched and I'd hate to jinx my future joy. But the post's working title is "Steve", so be on the lookout.

Speaking of slow week, this is as about as exciting as I get (less the "Steve" thing which will totally fucking rule):

One night I went to the gym (true story...no, really) but prior to I was STARVING because, dumbass here skipped lunch. This state left me finding myself in line ordering a really thick slice of pepperoni pizza which  is a brilliant idea just before hitting the gym.

Okay, I knew I was playing Russian Roulette here.  At a minimum, I was looking at some solid heartburn as I bounced around from exercise to exercise.  But I chanced it anyway (btw, this rates up there with the time in high school I downed a McDonald's 2 burger meal deal on the way to a TRACK MEET WHICH BY THE WAY IS NEVER, EVER A GOOD IDEA. DID I MENTION I RAN THE HURDLES??) So after a round of sit ups, I stood up, and the over-quoted  "I just threw up in my mouth a little bit" came into play. Gross, I know.

Naturally, this gets me to thinking of that movie Dodgeball and how that line said by that girl really needs to be retired. Sure, it was kinda, sorta funny when she said it, and it makes its point  but I read and hear it all the time when someone is offended but honestly? I think it's about time we all move on.  Seriously.  And besides, "you're about as useful as a poopy-flavored lollipop" should really be getting more press.

This is the kind of shit I mull over/obsess about on the bus ride home.

Anyway, I walk in the door STILL in obsessing mode over the retirement of that line, and what is the first thing I see?

The movie Dodgeball playing on the TV.

I know, I know...y'all just got *chills*.

(See, I told you it's been a slow week.)   

Anyway, delurk if you think of it.  I would love to hear from ya.

   

"Little help?"

Next Wednesday I have a party to go to.  A work party.  A nice work party. A nice work party where they have to buy a table-nice. 

I am having a little difficulty trying to figure out what to wear.

And I need an opinion (or 10).

Here's the skinny:

It's a dinner in NYC. At the Rainbow Room.  Prior to 9/11 the event was black-tie and companies rented out suites at the Waldorf Astoria.   Post-9/11 is been scaled back quite a bit in terms of being la-dee-dah.

So for the mens, it translates "wear a nice suit" which more to the point translates "where the good tie".  For us womens, especially one who has never been to this event ever ever, it means: "?"

What is "too dressy"?  But then again part is me is like, "what the hell- dress up."

So, in the spirit of Julia Roberts ala Pretty Woman, "I bought a dress. A nice dress." I tried it on for my sisters which was met with much fuss and oohs and aahs.  Ditto the shoes. Just out of stupid curiosity, I asked my sister Kate if she had some dresses that might also work.  I don't know why I asked, I guess I assumed they wouldn't fit or something but then I tried 2 of them on and BOTH FIT ME. 

AND LOOKED GOOD.

Now I have choices.

Now I have to make "A DECISION".

And the more I think of it, I might have to go down and grab the third dress in this equation. For back up, right? God, this is so hard.

Anyway, here are the 2.  One is more conservative and pretty/preppy and one is a little more uh, slinky? I guess? I don't know.

Help me out...what do you think given the nature of this dinner/cocktail event.

Plan A (dress I bought):

Plan B (sister's dress):

So basic gist of what we're working with here. So, what do you think?

Toenails, Etc.

I've come into a odd toenail situation recently and wonder a) have you had this occur and if so ) what do/did you do?

The nail on my big toe has been ripped (torn?) about 3/4th across the width of the toe, about 2/3rds of the way down. At the slow rate that toes grow, I am thinking it's only a matter of time before it's torn across 100%, which, ...blech. The thought makes my teeth hurt.  And also, gross.

Right now I have a bandaid covering it. I found it to be a better, gentler stop gap solution to stapling it down.

Any thoughts? Am I just to resign myself to the fact that I am a ticking time bomb until I am The Girl with One Third Toenail? Is there toe superglue out there? Also, will this hurt?

Marathoners get this, I know. But they crazy. It's a badge of honor of sorts. They take pride in missing toenails. Yeah me, not so much.

Ask the Internet

Okay, I AM TOO cleaning my mess here. 

People with ipods/new tech stuff...

Ditch the huge, old stereo/boombox from 1992  (Kenwood- so decent) which is taking up valuable shelf space that I can't remember the last time I used?  I am thinking it's going to see way of Goodwill.  This one is in the bedroom....really, it's just collecting dust at this point. I play the iPod thru the Creature speakers and upload my cds anyway.  Radio? What's that?

What you think? Have you ditched yours?

I now resume my regularly scheduled cleaning already in progress....