Once More with Feeling.

Straight outta Martha's Vineyard. I've been here for years.

Okay, I've met these people. And I've seen men in those pants with the little whales embroidered on them, and not worn ironically either.

"And we'll send you a thank you note...

In cursive!"

HOLLAH!

"Tea Partay" - by Prep Unit.

Sup, sungglebunnymuffinface?

Yeah, I need to post, one of these days. But as you can see, I've been rather busy.

(I had no idea my buddy Steve was doing this either)

Oy with the poodles already.

Ok, words can't express how tired I am right now but I hate not updating so this is gonna be one of those "updating for the sake of updating" deals which will undoubtedly suck but  it is not as though that has stopped me before.

By the way, I haven't really slept in 2 nights. My theory is that you can be so overtired you actually screw yourself over from getting sleep. I have played in 3 soccer games in the past 2 days (2 last night) among other tedious, time consuming things, so that might have something to do with it. Who knows.  But God, I'm tired. I mentioned that already? Oh.

If I had been around lately to write, I may have written about my babysitting adventure which would have included a bit about 3 year old niece Sarah. If you know anything about this age, it is that this is the age they start selling people out, more often, their parents.  As we were getting ready to turn in Friday night (after watching "Vegas" which immediately followed one of her favorites "Deal or No Deal" (you babysit your way, I'll babysit mine. there was no violence or sexy-sexy. And her parents let her watch her favorite-favorite show "Jack Bauer" because she gets mad when they try to watch it without her, because you know, IT'S A SHOW FOR GROWN-UPS)), ...anyway, I would be lying if I said  when she uttered the line, "My Daddy goes to sleep naked" I didn't become giddy with glee because Ha! Dirt! So I maintained my composure and nonchalantly responded with an "Oh?" in the hopes of getting her to go on a tear about Mom & Dad.  She continued, "yeah, he doesn't have a shirt on and he wears pants.  My mommy wears jammies."   

Well, better luck next time I guess.

But she did tell me she has seen her dad's pee-pee (apparently dads do not get any privacy while trying to take a pee either) and inform me that she has an "oogie" and boys have a "pee-pee". Uh....huh. Thanks for the heads up, Sar'. Really.

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I was driving around the other day and a song I've heard before but not in awhile came on and I started car dancing and  started to think, "Why does this song seem significant?" and then I realized it was my Dance Off Song! Somehow I managed to improv-erly choreograph a dance off routine to Mariah Carey's "It's Like That" which, if you have ever listened to this gem, is a mere half beat faster than your standard slow song.  How on God's green earth was I able incorporate among other things, dance moves from  Lord of the Dance and The New Kids on the Block "Hanging Tough" video, I'll never know.  Man, I'm such a talent.

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Speaking of things that makes people uncomfortable, I had my mother over this weekend (not the uncomfortable part - though could be) and Mike had just purchased and set up the new DVD player. If you recall, the old one broke with the Carmen Electra lap dance video jammed into it.  Sensing an opportunity to bug my mother and beau in a beautiful, clean 1-2 punch, I told my mother, "yeah, the other one broke with, of all things,...a Carmen Electra lap dance DVD stuck in it. Nice huh?" which elicited the smirk/eye roll combo and when Mike commented on the situation I added, "yeah, he's always saying my lap dance routine could use some work, so I bought the thing thinking it would help me out."

Yeah, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MOM!

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Anyway, I leave you now with a picture of me and my other niece, Libs who is, at least as of press time anyway, unable to inform me that her parents go to bed naked.

Yo Soy Muy Loco

I was tagged by the Sweat(y)'Mom (she sweaty cuz works out now) to do the "Hey, Look! I'm a Weirdo! Let Me Tell You How!" meme.

Shooting from the hip, here it is, in 6 parts (and on no sleep, so if this sucks, that is why)...

1. I cannot not pick at a cut or pimple if I know it is there. I will weirdly contort my body to get at it if need be. This maybe more "bad habit/OCD" than weird. Having said that, might I interest you in checking out my chicken pox scars from 1983?

2. I am obsessed with the Spanish language. I think it rules and am constantly speaking my own bastardized form of "Spanglish" (going in and out of English and Spanish, or translating English to Spanish as best I can, literally word for word which is not the way to do it). It's my intent to pick up where my high school studies left off to become fluent and one day impress the hell out of Antonio Banderas. And really, how fun is THAT name to say? "Hola, Senor Antonio Banderas. Interés de la fuerza I usted en ser mi amante esta noche?"*

However, I should caution you about speaking  of The Spanglish in Spanish speaking countries, like Mexico, for example. I once, after finishing my breakfast in Cozumel, told the waiter as he was clearing away my plate that, "I had enjoyed the food so much I cleaned my plate."  He walked away kind of looking irked with me, the "estupida gringa", which leads me to believe I told him something along the lines of "it was good go clean my plate."  Yes, making friends and building bridges, this is what I do.

By the way, "pienso tu madre es muy mucho el guapo."

3.  I have had to take a LOT of shit for the following: I live in Boston and I hate ALL seafood. Yes, ALL OF IT. And YES, dear judgmental person, this mean THA CHOWDAH.

4. I cannot really remember beyond 2 verses of any song (with exception to the score from Annie, it would seem). However, I quote movies and TV all the damn time--obscure, mainstream - it doesn't matter. If it made me laugh, chances are it's stuck in my craw somewhere.

"You know what they say, wood don't grow on trees." Buckwheat, The  Little Rascals (1994)

5. I can hand out nicknames and make them stick. For example, there wa a co-worker who looked a lot like my brother, so I would intentionally call  him Brian. For the first month of his employment, people thought this was his actual name.  The other kid got the nickname "Newbie" which also stuck (and actually helped, because both guys are named Dan).

6. I know more celebrity gossip than anyone you know. You find me a person who had a subscription to both In Touch and US Weekly in 2005. I didn't renew one of them when I realized I started getting stupider. You want dating history? Ask me. Need a "that person looks familiar" from one of their first acting gigs? Ask me. Also, it seems that this obsession with celebrities is a (depending on your point of view) genetic defect/enhancement passed down from my dad. We have discussed, at some length, the ups and downs of Christina Aguilera's weight.  At any given point  he can answer who is the "When Bad Clothes Happen to Good People" or "Look of the Week" celebrity is, both an US Weekly regular feature. When I go to visit him, we trade "papers".

*translated that should in theory read: Hello, Mr Antonio Banderas. Might I interest you in being my lover tonight?"

Party-specific Tax Forms.

In honor of the season, thought you guys would dig these party-line specific forms.

(As you put the cursor over the form, there are pop-ups.)

My nerdiness knows no bounds

Me testing out the video feature on my cellphone. "Hey Kate, hey Sarah."

Riveting shit, if I do say so myself.

Download me_in_the_car.mov

Once I figure this out on my real camera...people are screwwwwwed.

Random crap.

From an e-mail from my Uncle Buck (not his real name. his real name is Paul. boring story how he got the it, so who cares):

"On Wednesday at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06. That won't ever happen again. You may now return to your normal stuff."

I like the "you may now return to your normal stuff" part.

On this bus this morning, the woman next to me looks up from her book, looks out the window and then turns to me and asks, "Is it snowing out?" I bob my head yes in confirming disgust.  The book she was reading though? Fated Sky. Heh.

For all you fans of The Godfather, let me take the opportunity and try and ruin it for you. From Defective Yeti. Now will you be able to look at Al Pacino and James Caan without thinking "Corleone? Corleone? Corleone?" or "It feels so good when it touches your lips"/"WE'RE GOING STREAKING!"?

Sarah Bunting of Tomato Nation is one inspiring woman, I tell you. She raised $30K for NY City schools as she puts it "kids are being left behind." Her end of the bargain? She said she'd shave her head completely bald. Picture is hopefully still top story on her home page linked to her name here); the full story is here.

As someone raised Catholic, there are some items I believe the Catholic Church needs to back the fuck up on or completely reconsider their position. I have a few, ..."issues" with The Church. I won't get into any of it here but if THIS comes to fruition (and I have read this story in MANY places), I swear, if the Catholic Church doesn't wield its power for good and stop this somehow, I'm handing in my Catholic Card. Paris fucking Hilton to play Mother Theresa??? I'd rather eat my own bile for my 3 square meals than to know that that film is being made. No, really. AN-Y-ONE besides her. Could they find anyone MORE opposite for what Mother Theresa stood for? Is ANYTHING sacred?? It would be worse than like having Kevin Spederline play Jesus, that is how strongly I feel about this.

I have updated that last line. It's really too close to call and I really don't want the Big J mad at me. PH and KS are both equally skeevy in their own special, disgusting, narcissistic, selfish, whoring way.

You may now return to your normal stuff.

We all knew it was only a matter of time.

Yes, I fucked around with my hair color (ah-gain) and this is what's we got. A very, very brunette me (ala Lindsay Lohan nowadays-ish).

Be it knowm that this picture was taken just before I hit the sack and have no makeup on (though on a positive note, my teeth are brushed). 

Or if you prefer...

As a frame of reference, this was me 3 days ago...

To the UK folks, I'm sorry but..

I have absolutely NO idea who "Christina Cousins" is (I wrote a post which contained "ChrisTINE'S cousin"), though for at least (at last count) 40 of ya, landed here from your search for her. However, I will say now  you got me curious as to who she is and what happened (apparently today), as all of you found this place within moments of one another. Feel free to clue me in.

Mensa Dropouts

So while not "thinning the herd" calibre like Dawn's townies but definitely those guys cousins I believe.

In the local Boston news, 2 people were busted for dealing prescription drugs in the JFK office building.  The same builing that houses the DEA.

That's some balls.