Training Day
(apologies to Denzel)
E’ry day I be changin’
Those dipes you be stainin’
So today I throw to you
“How ‘bout we start SOME. TRAININ’!”
I look at you, you look at me
You flash that double dimpled grin
I see it’s, "game on, playa"
I know what’s about to begin
I say, “Look, here, Sho'ty, This potty-
IS. IT. NOT. HOT?”
You turn your back,
booty flashing
And you take off like a shot
I see that squishy tushy
That pinchy derrière
But please, for the Love of God, come back
And pee in that thing over there
I know you hear me pleadin’
Like I’m beggin for my life
What joy it would bring this old lady
If you wouldn’t cause such strife
See we blow so much on diapers
And we buggin on them wipes
Let’s say we call this thing
And bust a cap in them absorbent types
I’ve been round so many places
Yeah, the Eiffel Tower too
But you know I’d buy you a pony
Just to see you hit the loo
I know one day you’ll get it
You'll be the toast of this town
And Momma will no longer utter
(Jesus)
“I think we have a 'Code Brown.'”
